Like I have said many times in other posts, you will never be perceived as beautiful and confident if you aren't on the inside. These are just some inspirational pics I found:)
Okay now today's blog is about the gif above from my favorite TV show, Awkward. Meet Sadie. Sadie is a b*tch. Excuse my language, but she is a bully and does nothing but point out other people's flaws and mistakes. If you want a more in-depth description of her....google it;) Anyway, she has this "fat journal" where she records what she eats and exercise activity and what not...well this is a quote about that journal. Sadie has a very common problem. I have this problem with my friends....most of my girl friends are thin, fit young women with nice bodies and beautiful personalities. This is sometimes a problem for me because I constantly compare myself to them. The thing I have come to realize is that I am not...nor will I ever be...those girls. I was blessed with a body that is beautiful in its own way. I have more to brag about in some areas then others and have less in other areas. But my body is unique and nobody else will ever have the body that is uniquely mine.
Sorry for the crappy, cliche, short blog today....BUT I am working on TWO very special things:)
1- an awesome visual project for this blog
AND
2- a vlog:)
If you had a friend who talked to you like you talk to yourself....how long would you keep them as a friend?
So this week, I wanted to talk about the way you talk to yourself. I call it "self-speak." You need to treat yourself like a prized possession. Wake up every morning and tell yourself how beautiful you are...if you can't do that at least give yourself a compliment or two (Oh lovely hair today Hannah!!) because sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it. The only way to become truly successful and happy is to be confident. Your goals will be nothing but dreams until you are confident enough to chase them. I have two basic steps to start your journey to the things illustrated in the chart below :)
Step 1........STOP LISTENING TO THE MEDIA. This doesn't mean cut yourself off from TV and Facebook, but it does mean to budget your time well and concentrate on your goals more than the latest Hollywood gossip. When you see commercials or shows that promote changing the way you look or who you are...tune-out. Change the channel, turn the TV off, flip off the TV.....do something that reminds yourself that no "get fit quick" plan or "low cost lypo" will make you love yourself. You will NEVER be perfect, so don't strive for perfection. Strive for happiness.
Step 2....BREAK UP WITH YOUR INSECURITIES...do it through a letter or face-to-face in the mirror. I am not even joking right now. The other day I stood in the mirror and straight up said "Look insecurities...it is hard to say this, but it isn't me...it's you. you make me unhappy and you do nothing but bring me down." Will you look a little crazy? Sure. Will you feel silly? Probably. It doesn't work right away, but shutting down your insecurities little by little will minimize them to the point where you can brush them off like dirt on your shoulder. Today I was out with friends and I tried on a Wonder Woman Halloween costume (because who wouldn't want to be Wonder Woman!?) and my friends really wanted to see it. According to them, I looked really good and they thought I should buy it. I shut the dressing room door and looked at myself and saw a whale standing in front of me....needless to say I won't be going back for that costume. But when I got home, I realized what I had done to myself. I gave into self-pressure (like peer-pressure but worse...) I talked myself out of doing something I really wanted to do because I felt a little insecure. I just had a little discussion with myself in a mirror and now I WILL be going to get a Wonder Woman costume...one that I feel comfortable in because I am tired of bullying myself around. It is time to break up with my bad thoughts. It is the first step to happiness....and a cute Halloween costume.
I know today's blog wasn't very long or descriptive, but I have been really busy and it is late. I promise to start blogging more once my schedule is balanced. I am working on confidence myself, but I hope I can help you along with your self-image as well(: I just want every person to be able to say:
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video i found that has some really shocking facts!!!
Okay so I have once again been gone for a very long while....and I am sorry but between my own confidence issues and enjoying summer I really didn't have the time or words to put into a blog. I have more [bittersweet] news....I will be gone this week (Aug. 20-24) being a camp counselor for CAMP HOPE<3 It will be a really great experience but I will not be able to blog at all. I do, however, think going to this camp will inspire and motivate me to blog more often. So now....ONTO THE BLOG(:
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School will be starting soon everyone!!! And it may have started for a few of you already! So first day of school you will wake up and make sure you have your backpack/bag, pens and pencils, paper, binder, cute new clothes, hair done all nice, and that attitude of hanging onto every last piece of summer. But one thing you cannot forget to pack, especially if it is a super big day like mine (last first day of high school CLASS OF 2013 or maybe your first day of high school CLASS OF 2016), is your CONFIDENCE. It is the number one thing that will help you through your stressful first week and maybe even grab the attention of that cute guy/girl you saw in first period;)
My advice for keeping this confidence not only the first week but all year is to have "that one thing." Have a go to ____ that whenever you see it you remember to keep your head up high. I actually have a few things like this only because they are mostly jewelry and I can't always wear them. I have a rubber bracelet that actually says confidence, a pair of flower earrings that I adore, and my new favorite chapstick that is flavored so deliciously!!! These reminders don't have to be physical either. Some days I wake up and put on some uplifting music that puts me in a great mood in the morning that lasts all day(: Sometimes I write sappy teenage poetry or sing badly at the top of my lungs dramatically on my balcony.(: Even volunteer work can help if that's what makes you happy! It is all up to you!!!
And, like I always say, when you are confident it is a lot easier to pass it on. I'm sorry but I have a lot of friends who are very insecure and I love them but I won't go to them when I am feeling insecure because I just get empty reassurance. You cannot reassure someone if you aren't sure enough yourself because you end up telling others what they want to hear instead of something that can truly help.
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ANOTHER BACK TO SCHOOL TIP::::
Okay so we all make those "New Year's Resolutions" that maybe last until mid-February if you really stick with them :P I am guilty of doing it to, but I honestly think the best time to make these resolutions is at the beginning of a new school year(: Think about it: you have a brand new beginning, new teachers, new classrooms, you make new friends, see new people. You have the chance for a life makeover! So in spirit of this I have made 7 "back to school resolutions"(:
1- Blog at least once a week
2- Vlog at least once a week (YES! The vlog is coming!!!)
3- Start a personal blog to get through the tough times
4- Dress in a way that makes me feel good!
5- Get all A's on my first report card of Senior year!!
6- STOP PROCRASTINATING!
7- Join at least 2 more clubs this year
So I challenge you to do the same(: Comment your list of them below or email them to me at ourbeautifulselves@gamil.com or even facebook them to me if you are on my personal facebook(:
Have a great rest of the summer and an even better school year!!!!
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:) Sorry I just had to<3
STAY BEAUTIFUL AND LET LIFE HAPPEN <3
Check out my best friends new blog(: She is great with words----> emmaknowsall17.blogspot.com
In the August issue of Seventeen Magazine, editor-in chief Ann Shoket
has made a promise to her teen readers. The promise comes in the form
of a “Body Peace Treaty,” vowing to “never change girls’ body or face
shapes” with photoshop or airbrushing. Pinned side by side were two
nearly identical pictures detailing in red ink the exact changes made to
a photograph before it reaches the glossy pages of Seventeen magazine:
clearing a loose hair or two, removing a visible bra strap, smoothing
clothing folds and changing the color of a drape in the background. The
entire page is signed two X’s, two O’s and a single, friendly A for Ann
Shoket, as though the entire thing was passed between friends through folded notes over an
Elementary school desk. Julia Bluhm, the fourteen year old girl who inspired this promise with
her petition and mock photo shoot, is claiming a victory for girls
everywhere, and few, including myself, are going to argue with her. And
now a new set of girls, seventeen year old Emma Stydahar and sixteen
year old Carina Cruz, are following Bluhm’s momentum and asking Teen
Vogue to take a similar promise with a very different response. After they held a mock runway featuring real and diverse teen girls
outside of Teen Vogue’s office, they reportedly were given a short
meeting with the editors of Teen Vogue, where they were handed issues of
Teen Vogue littered with Post It notes designating diversity as they
believed it; mostly skinny african american models. The girls were then
sent away with their homework. It’s the industries little open secret; the glossy fantasy we see in
the pages of magazines and advertisements everywhere is only slightly
more achievable as a CGI dragon. That super skinny celebrity you saw on
the cover doesn’t really have skin that clear, her hair is not always
that perfect, and no, she does not actually that skinny. For good
measure, the editors shaved five pounds off of her sides with a computer
program before sending it to the press, for thousands of people to sigh
at, never wondering where she must keep her kidneys. According to Seventeen Magazine, that has never been an option. Body
and face shape alterations were always ethically out of line, which
might explain why they were so receptive to Bluhm’s complaints. But
according to Teen Vogue, body shape alterations have never been an
option either, at least when it comes to the non-models and readers they
regularly feature in their magazine. That has to mean something?
Right? The use of photoshop to alter weight and body shape, lighten darker
skinned models and erase features in an attempt to uniform beauty are
unquestionably wrong in my opinion, especially when it deals with
younger readers, like those Seventeen and Teen Vogue inevitably reach.
But the real question doesn’t rest in those issues, since cooperative or
otherwise, both magazine have said that they do not alter body size. Julia Bluhm’s petition included a request for one, unaltered,
non-photoshopped spread per issue. That request was denied. Both girls
have requested diversity within the magazine, including different races
and body sizes besides that of the typical model. Those requests, it
seems, have been skimmed over. And looking through one of my sisters
issues of Teen Vogue, out of the easily hundred women featured within,
there were no more than ten non-white models, and only one body shape. To be fair, not all blame can be placed upon the magazines. Designers
enjoy the ideal presented by the photographer, and as a result, they
usually only send the smallest sizes of their clothing samples. Unless
designers start sending more realistic sizes, bigger models are not only
unwanted, they are useless. Magazines like these exist to present a fashionable fantasy, where
people wake up each day with obedient hair and perfect complexions. And
people pay for these magazines for that fantasy, right? These
magazines never promised to show non-fiction, and they never warned us
they wouldn’t. So where do we draw the line? Is photoshop okay for loose hair and bra straps, or is that the same as
digital liposuction? And what constitutes diversity and what is fair
of us to expect? And who do we blame? Comment below with your opinions.
I like pep talks.
I like giving pep talks. If I wasn’t so stupid when it came to sports,
I might make a wonderful career as a high school football coach, just to be the guy giving the inspiring-pre-half-time-comeback-speech to the
tune of a Beethoven symphony rip-off. (I wonder if I could do that
freelance...)
However, I do give my regular pep talks here, online.
Before
I sit down and write anything for OurBeautifulSelves, I give myself
audience. I imagine that every single insecure individual I’ve ever
known has been magically merged together into one broken, ambiguously
raced/gendered loved one, and I end up spending the next half hour
tweaking together the best literary hug I can.
So in case you haven’t noticed,
I haven’t exactly been a very good blogger recently. I would look back
and give you the exact number of weeks I’ve been out of commission, but I’m
afraid that even knowing such sensitive information, let alone posting it,
would alert the local authorities of my misdemeanor.
And I wouldn’t want to be the
one to cost this site it’s casual blogging license, now would I?
Now, I wish I could say I was
busy with personal problems or a family crisis (is that wrong?). I really, really
wish I could say that I was busy spying on the Soviets in a time traveling
spaceship or organizing the Avengers initiative, but that would just be silly
(and highly classified).
No, unfortunately, all the good
excuses go to other people. I have been busy with the end of school,
which we all know is nothing anyone ever really worries about.
No, my only excuse is good, old
fashioned writers block.
I had ideas for you guys.
I had messages to tell you. But every time I sat in front of a
computer, I couldn’t get a draft down, or my draft was daft and ended in the
trash. You get the idea.
But the real irony is, that
those feelings I had for my work are the exact same feelings people may have
for themselves. Every day we have to stand up and present ourselves to
the world. Every day we wake up with a draft, or perhaps a blank page,
and we spend our time working to perfect that work of art that is our bodies
into something we can be proud of.
I was ashamed of my work, but
why was I. There was nothing to be worried about, and there is nothing
that you should be worried abo-
…
…
Wait.
Am I really doing this?
Am I that guy now? That
writer?
Sigh. I’m just going to cut this off where it is.
Expect a more regular posting in
the future. I won’t give a schedule but I’ll try for something.
…
I’m really sorry about that...
“Every day we wake up with a draft.” What was I thinking...
Sorry for my brief absence. I was dealing with a lot of personal things and I thought it would be wrong of me to sit here and type a blog inspiring you to be confident and self-loving, when I was feeling so insecure....I feel a lot better now and a blog on those personal struggles will come shortly...today's blog will be about surrounding yourself with supportive friends.
We all have those friends that we can joke around with. You know the ones that you can call a fatty when you are eating junk food together and he/she eats the last slice of pizza. That friend that you can call stupid when they ask a question with an easy answer. That friend that you can have witty, sarcastic banter with and no feelings are hurt. I think you all get my picture now...but what happens when friends start crossing the line?
When friends begin to bully. Sounds like some dramatic TLC/Lifetime special. But it is a very serious issue that I had to go through (and I have seen others go through) and it hurt my self confidence...a lot.
For those of you who know me, most of you know I hang out with a very specific group at school: my theatre friends. I have stopped being close with a lot of people outside of my theatre group because of my experiences with friend bullying. I used to hang out with a group of friends of about 9 or 10 people. Most of the kids I had gotten to know through my two friends that brought me into that group. We all hung out and I thought I could trust these people. We had that group of friends that can tease each other, but I realized it started to focus on me.
I dealt with it at first. Most of the jokes were about me being half black, which can only be expected at a predominately white school. The jokes started focusing more and more on my looks. My hair (which was an afro), my weight (I was almost 20 pounds heavier), and my race. I also found out these "friends" talked about me behind my back....and the jokes were worse.
Hannah you are so white-washed.
Oh you don't like to swim? It's because you're black.
Can you sing gospel like every other big, black woman?
Hannah you can go chunky-dunking when we skinny dip!
If I throw this food in your hair will it stay in there?
To them I wasn't Hannah. To them I was labeled by stereotypes and societal rules. I started to become mean. Not to my friends, but to my family. I went home and I would cry. I would stand in front of the mirror and wish I was different. I wished I had hair that was long and wavy. I wished I could have a killer body. I wished I could have been born white. I let these people who were supposed to be my friends get into my brain and damage the confident, care-free person I was. I let ignorance affect my self-esteem. I let friends bring me down.
Now, I don't care what people think of me. I have friends that I can joke around with but I know they will always be there for me ESPECIALLY when I feel down about myself. These friends reassure me of how awesome I am, and I can do the same for them.
If you feel like your friends may be bullying you, you have a lot of options. You can bring it to their attention. You can slowly separate yourself from that group and join a new one. You can cut that group off completely. Remember that YOU ARE AWESOME. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. If anyone is making you believe otherwise, you do NOT need them.
I don't think I have mentioned this before, but if any of you readers ever need advice, someone to listen to you, or someone to reassure you of your beauty/awesomeness you can reach me at ourbeautifulselves@gmail.com or (if I know you personally) on facebook.
AND I might be making a facebook group for this blog to keep everyone up-to-date on posts(:
